Nevermind the stupid title. I'm not really in the mood for being serious. i'm sitting here, in a VERY nice outfit and I'm actually feeling beautiful. I personally have absolutely no Phucking idea what the heck I'm gonna do later tonight. Most of all I just want to come with my father and watch him and Albin tonight. Unfortunally I can't... So I'm just gonna go home, make a big fuss and then play loud music and feel all miserable.
There sure are a lot of interesting things I could write...
For one... i rehersed my lines with Tomas. it took about 10 minutes then we started talking about religion. *grins* I love talking about religion. Especially people who have been raised hard core christians. *chuckles* They have this narrow minded way of looking at the world. And things that are not hippieish or weird to me at all, they think is really freaked out.
geeesh... I live a life free of fear and no strings attatched. And it's so liberating. unfortunately some people fale to see the beauty of it and thinks I'm nuts.
Me and my friend is writing a song. it's moving towards a Nightwish style metal operetta á tavern song. it's really quite beautiful so far, even though we only have the main chords. I just adore it!!!!!!
Oh... and my other friend, named Emmy, and I are going to write a book for teenagers about health and exercise. AND Albin agreed to be our model for the "gym" shots. *smiles* So guess how happy I am on a scale from one to one hundred!? I am overy extatic! ;)
Oh... what else? My darling friend Holly's not feeling well. I wish i could help her, it's a shame we live three hours away from each other... Things would be so much easier if humans could teleport or orb or whatever! *sighs*
Well... I'm back on a diet. Just thought I'd let y'all know. If I seem ditzy it's probably because i forgot to take a shake or something. i'm such a forgetfull person sometimes. I really need to work on my memory.
Yeah... I've finally moved, and it feels good to have the whole thing over with and done. Other then that I had to goto the E.R because of my severe cramps this saturday,but I'm fine now cause the doctor gave me little pills that makes my tummy feel better. Aparantly this condition is very much so common among girls my age, so I don't have to worry. The pills are pink by the way. Which naturally makes me think og P!nks song "Just like a pill". no reason to explain that, i hope.
Anyways...Isaac Hanson is in a hospital, or was... gee, i've been absent from the net for 1 week and he end up in a hospital because of a blood clog... *ish* Well...he's gonna be fine though, which is really all I care about right now.
Ah... I have a buisy week ahead of me, i have to study for 3 teste, rtoday i'm gonna watch Albin reherse for the big premiere of the Christmas show he's starring in and tomorrow i'm going to study my lines along with Thomas. In my room... I am totally nervous about the whole experience since i've never really talked to thomes outside the drama classes and now he's coming to my house!
My friends just looked into the computor room, they're soo damn loud! Good thing I don't have any classes with them this afternoon. just 4 glorious hours of music! What else can one ask for?
Music... yes, the one thing that Albin and i really have in common besides being compleatly health freaks! We'd make a perfect couple if he'd only dump that girlfriend of his. Who seems to be a compleat bimbo. I tried to email her once, thinking my hatred for her might go away if she was nice to talk to. unfortunatly my niceness(yes... I was actually really nice to her) did not pay off and she kinnda didn't mail me back. That ugly....
Well,enough about that. Apart from Albins rehersal I will also be looking at my fathers rehersal as well... Well... he's the only reason I was invited to come along to Albins rehersal too. Most of the time my father is really good to have! *grins* That he knows the darling Albin is just a big fat plus!
I adore my dad, I'm such a daddys girl. We both love the same things and the only areas we differ in is religion and politics. My father is more conservative then me, but I'm cool with that as long as he is the wonderful man he's always been. One can really tell that I'm his daughter.
Ah... I and Thomes is going to call me at 12 o'clock tonight to set a timeand place for us to meet and stuff so that we can practice the lines. And I don't want tooooo!!!!! I feel like throwing a fit, but i don't really have the time or energy for that. Anything else? Yes.... I'm gonna watch dark Angel tonight... that's about it I guess.... now... get outta here, but not without leaving a comment in the blog... come on. i know you want to!
Yes... things are really starting to feel like we're actually moving. And I must say I am very excited. Not only because we're moving to something bigger, but because moving to me means a new start in life. When you change and you still live in the same place, your old self will start to rub into you. And moving to a few place allows you to really keep the change clean. You can just decorate your new room with your new feelings and the new you, until you are compleately into the groone, so to speak. I absolutely adore the new house. Despite the ugly wallpaper my mum picked out AND the ugly cupboards that are there already, things are really feeling like HOME.
So... I told you I had to pack down my altar and all things on and around it. Well... I made a little temporary altar out of my nightstand for the last few nights here. I putted my flowers on it and a candle, an acorne and a chestnut. It looks nice and as soon as I get some water onto that altar, it's going to be all I need it to be.
Other then that I'm pretty happy, and it's my junkie day (all health freaks have junkie days... except for my friend Angie, but she's just wierd) and we're gonna have a few bittles of beer and eat some unhealthy stuff. Nothing too greasy though, we don't want to gain any weight... ;)
Yes... I am stressed out. Moving is definately mentally exhausting and a totally big source of stress... I hate it, yet I love it.
I did a very promesing tarot reading last night, and apart from 2 cards, I managed to interpretate(sp?) it all without looking in the book.
Tonight I'll probably do a past life meditation or something like it. I had to pack up my altar yesterday so there will be no serious rituals for a week or probably more since my dear mother took my altar table and decided to use it for what it really is, a tv table.
So... this is it so far, except for my headache I am feeling fairly nice, i just want to get the damn move over with already!!!!!
Oh... hi! I was just ranting in my own little dillutional head and decided to share my madness with you all. I hope that is okay... [i]she said as though the poor and innocents souls had a choice.[/i]
Ahh... yes. I had a very interesting day. I went for a window shopping spree to a specific store with some very special staff members [i]with a really special bu... eyes?[/i] And even though I wasn't even going to try anything on, I left after trying about 4 pair of jeans and having shown them to a very special staff member [i]with a very special bu... eyes?[/i]
Other then that? I went for a walk with my father and his girlfriend. We discussed my mothers lack of understanding. I am not compleately alien to teh thought of bashing my mother in front of my father. Actually I am quite fond of it.
I know... I'm evil.
However I would have to make Mike dishapointed and say that i am not Satan. I don't even believe in Satan. I might be a little bitch every now and again, but i'm not some Christian idea of someone to blame the messed up things their god doesn't take care off on.
Ahh... enough for today. I'd be happy to hear from Mike again soon. And I hope he stops posting as gallo soon. It's rather annoying actually.
... immature little thugs. Don't you? It's when people like that flame you, that's when you truly know you've reached a new level of maturity. Well... guess what? That only excercised my abs with some really heavy laughter.
Well... I'm off to cook myself a REALLY yummy dinner.
If there's one place I can shy away from this newfound maturity of mine it'd have to be this damn blog. I seriously don't feel that much more mature, well... I didn't until I re-read the posts I have made so far today in various forums and message coards.
Aparantly some wierd thing happened to me over night and all of a sudden I'm this mature creature who can write and formulate my posts perfectly, almost. I swear it's Nay's fault! She never should have started to compare me with Prue Halliwell from Charmed! I bet it's got something to do with it. *smiles* Nay's such a sweet girl...
Well... ya know what? I'm almost learning to enjoy this. It's not like it physically hurts to be a bit more mature then the next person. Or the third for that matter... at leats this applies to my home enviroment right now. This place is a damned travesy! I really like that word by the way; travesty. I like the way it sounds.
From one thing to another. I really do hope Hanson releases their new album sometime soon! I'm going crazy here... I'm really really really nervous for them. I just want the record out there... NOW! *grins and laughes*
oohhh... more? Yes yesh... I have more. I haven't really slept for... like... 6 days. At least not more then, like... 30 minutes at the times. I'm dying here... I'm tired beyond years.
Yeah... I confess. Scenes that include love is extremely hard to do in theater. You have no idea what you're doing. You feel so embaressed and so extremely aware of yourself. And in that moment you're inside that part you're playing. You ARE in love. And it can actually wear into your personal life.
Anyways... enough of my damn rambelings about my acting. Poor Thomas is probably worse off then I am since he's got such a hard time doing those kind of scenes and yet, when he concentrates... he does it brilliantly.
I have been blessed, yes... it truly feels that way. Hecate has taken me under her owly wings and is teaching me about life. I do think she's better for me then Aphrodite and Artemins. After all... I'm not really that loving or carefree anymore. I'm more like Hecate in many ways. And I think she's got a lot to show me.
[b]Thill Of The Day[/b]
I am just... excited... I do really think it's a full moon tonight or tomorrow night. It'd be my first full moon ritual... shows you how good I amwith the moon cycles!
[b]Thoughts Of Today[/b] Well... what do you know. I was right. Things did change, a whole lot! I have changed, people around me has changed... or maybe it's just me. Maybe everybody else are just the way they were and it's just me. I just changed the way I look at them.
All of a sudden people are telling me I look like Angelina Jolie and that I should become a model. I must have changed a lot, a few years ago people were telling me I was ugly and should die. And now this!
I must say I am surprised. I have no idea what has happened, but things just seem more... relevant.
Well... other than that... I did a re-vamp of my dear blog. It's now all... Angelina. And why not? I do relate to her a lot... so...
[b]Feeling Of The Day[/b] Happyness... and confusion. Mostly Happiness though
[b]Craving Of Today[/b] Water! I need water damnit!
[b]Song Of Today[/b] Hanson's "Penny and Me" ohh... and Bon Jovi's song "Bounce"
[b]Show of Today[/b] Dark Angel... no doubt about it!
[i]Be cool and stay healthy... and now... get the heck outta here![/i]
Today is my favourite holyday of all... Samhain. The holiday of the dead, and the decending of the king to the Underworld. Sooooooo lovely. I always feel extra Witchy on this holiday.
So... this is what life with a pinch of healthyness is like? Intense planning of each meal to get the most and best out of them? I like it! The fact that one actually spend so much time on the food before eating it makes the whole experience more joyfilled and you feel nicer about yourself and you don't feel guilty for eating. I really made it this time! Lots of protein, less carbs and not so much fat. Yay for me!
Right now I just want to get to the gym and work out a bit. I feel pretty restless and I really have this small urge to get out of the apartment and into a sweaty gym with bad airconditioning. I am one weird girl, aren't I? If a guy would give me chocolate and roses I wouldn't think so highly of it. But take me to the gym or take me for a walk and a nice salad, I'll be waaaay happy. *smiles* However a massage is ALWAYS a winner. No matter what... *smiles* We all need to be pampered every now and then.
So... anything more???
Yes... the ultimate thought of the day is: why are people acting like stupid bitches nowadays? It's fucking annoying and it actually makes me want to use more cuss words then I know, and I don't normally curse that much. Goddesdamnit!
[b]Feeling[/b]
Damn slutty if I might say it myself. But that's because I just happen to be a bit like PhoeMe and Alyssa Milano...
I must say... I've never really felt this liberated before! I really feel as though things are going to work out for the better for once. I know what I want to do with my diet, my work out, my new room, myself.... It feels really nice and I really wnat to, just... go out and party.
There's something in the air though. Some big changes, I already know some of them. Us moving and all... but there's something besides that. It's just a feeling. But hey... my intuition has been incorrect before.
There are things you just can't explain. But one thing is pretty amazing. I feel as though the more I work out and watch what I eat, the witchier I feel. So... I'm guessing it'll be some great time to do some witchy work this Samhain. I won't have that much props, so it's gonna have to be one of those old fashioned praises... But hey! That's cool too!
[b]Tip of the day:[/b]
Drink lots and lots of water and make sure you eat enough minerals and salts too!
[b]Dilemma of the day:[/b]
CSI or Alias? I know I can tape one of them... but still! I never get around to watching the recordings! I better tape Alias... I can tape it on the same tape as the last eppi of the very same show and then I can have a Alias watching next weekend!
OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.
Yeah....you need some help. No offense but you really need to calm down and look around. You're past causes people to call you a maniac, mabye they're right, but you can also prove them wrong can't you? You know you can.
You're often depicted as the cold, distant season. But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant. You have an air of power around you - and that can sometimes scare people off. You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure - and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is.
Well done... You're the most inspirational of seasons :)
"And The Gargoyle mended his wings from the blood of the fallen so he could rise up from imprisonment. With great speed and resourcefulness, Gargoyle made the world his for the taking."
Some examples of the Gargoyle Form are Daedalus (Greek) and Mary Magdalene (Christian). The Gargoyle is associated with the concept of success, the number 4, and the element of wood. His sign is the new moon.
As a member of Form 4, you are a creative and resourceful individual. You are always thinking of possible solutions to problems you face and you generally choose one that is right. Much of your success comes from your ability to look at things a little differently than everyone else. Gargoyles are the best friends to have because they don't always take things for face value.
Your soul is bound to the Tenth Totem, Yen: The Snake.
Yen appears as a vermillion colored cobra. He embodies passion, rapture, zeal, and desire. He is associated with the color vermillion, the season of summer, and the element of fire. His downfall is indulgence.
You are most compatible with Bears and White Stags.
"I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside and though I haven't let myself shine to the world, I'm good for something but too good to give to you."
The Rose Bud is associated with innocence, curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or Puppy Love.
As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to be optomistic, idealistic, and curious, but it's just because you like being a positive person. You also may have high thoughts of yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but it's just a mask to hide your lack of experience.
... I watched the movie Enough today. And I have to say, it moved something deep inside of me. So I told my mother that i wanted to start taking selfdefence classes. Unfortunately her boyfriend was sitting at the table and he made sure to tell me that selfdefence would only get me killed. He claimed that the people today are armed and if I put up a fight they'll shoot me right away. That I would be better of just taking what they'll give me. That it'd be best for me to just lay there and get raped.
I couldn't believe someone actually said that. See... my worst fear isn't really dying. It's being raped and not putting up a fight. There... I said it... I'd rather die a warrior then live with a savaged mind and body.
I think he's wrong. I think the soul knowledge that you can defend you gives you a stronger posture. A kind of aura that cowards shy away from. That kind of aura that makes you more untouchable.
I think that scums that does things like rapes and murders are usually very weak, sick and a bunch of cowards. And I don't think they go for the strong women with integrity.
Anyway... I know I'd feel a lot safer myself if I knew where to strike. Not only because I could end up in a rape situation on the streets, but also in my home. By someone I thought I could trust.
And yes... I have to confess... I barely trust my mothers boyfriend. The only man I trust right now, who wouldn't hurt me is my father. THE ONLY ONE.
I'm a very confused person right now. And I'm not paranoid. I'm just being a realist.
seriously... I'm so pumped out from yesterdays workout I'm on the verge of crying. I'm just exhausted. When I got off the stairmaster yesterday I was 2 seconds away from passing out. However I'd like to give myself credit for not bailing out, but staying on that damned thing for the full 20 minutes. I'd like to take pride in being a strong and motivated person instead of a... quiter
Anyways... I better go to class now... I'll post more later... cya then!
Whooop... I feel like partying but I don't have anyone to party with. Aaaahh... well... I've decided to loose 20 pounds over the next three months. Or at least I will try...
So... what's new with me? I started doing yoga again. And GOD it felt good, I slept like a baby tonight and I seriously had very nice dreams too.
More? Oh yes... I bought a new sweater today. It was really very cute and I like it very much! I'm gonna wear it to school tomorrow.
Oh... and tonight is my tv night... or at least it should be. Alias and CSI at the SAME time! That's just generally stupid... And then it's... it's... Bleh... I'll just read some Harry Potter or "Everything about burning fat." instead!
Sooooo... what else... My health site is just... not coming along at all. I'm far to lazy...
Oh... and I found some personal trainer courses one can take, but they're pretty expensive and I don't know if it can really take only 16 days to become a professional personal trainer. From, like, 0 to 100 on 16 days? Sounds a bit fishy to me!
Well... here I am again... and I would have made a new header to my blog today, unfortunately someone did something stupid to my dear computor and the graphics program isn't working! Stupid thing!
I'm seriously sick of this witchy kinnda... look. I went into another Hanson phase again and I want my sweet boys up on the damn blog header!!!! *growls* I'm just gonna put on "Penny and Me" and I'm gonna go and... ehm... nevermind... I'll just stay here.
I had no classes today. Nice nice nice, and might I add, nice...
What more... oh, that's right... NOTHING! Nothing has happened today, except I got a mail from Albin but he's become so freaking boring not even that can break me out of my damned boredom.
I'll just go around, moping about in my jeans, which are too big, and this ugly pink top I'm wearing. I swear, the person who invented the colour pink should be beaten with a frying pan over the head. It's a VERY ugly colour... ar least the tone I'm wearing right now.
You know which colours that are nice though? Minty green, baby blue and purple! *nods* Those colours are REALLY nice, I'm gonna paint my room with mint green and purple, or baby blue, I haven't decided yet...
I know one thing though, I'm gonna have lots of wall shelves, like Dido has in the video White Flag. It looks really cool!
Well... that's all for now... insane rambelings again tomorrow, same blog, different time.
This day has been fairly long. I got up at 5am this morning and went out for a 20 minutes run. So... I got an early start.
I kinnda just walked around the apartment and looked at some music videos at Mtv and Ztv until about... 10 o'clock. Then I went to school, ate and then we had Psycology. We discussed dreams, their meanings and how important dreams are to people.
Then I walked downtown with my friends and bought some food, and headed back to shcool.
Oh... that's right, I met Albin too, he was in a hurry, but stopped, said hi and gave me a hug anyway. He's a sweet man, he also said we'd probably see each other at the gym today, but we didn't... anyway...
When I got back to the school I had a 2 and a half hour long sign language class... then I rushed home, went to the gym and worked out for, about one hour. And now I'm sitting here... *phew*
Sooo... that was what my day was like, practically... now... let's get into the more abstract things... feelings and thoughts!
Basically I've been in a pretty good mood all day. I've been walking around sporting leg warmers on my arms... *laughs* it actually looked pretty cool, and my sign language teacher really thought it was a smart move.
I found a new Hanson song on the internet called "Penny and Me", it's friggin great! They've got it at the acoustic tour they're doing right now. I love those boys, they're so talented!
Other then that... I can't help but feel like there's something in the air... something that's about to happen. Something REALLY big, although I think it's something good... *grins*
Who knows... who knows what the future has in store? I'm not that good at the tarot cards yet... so I can't tell. ;)
Yessss! I cannot express my happiness in anything but a big YESSSS! I finally got somewhere in my workout and I'm starting to feel quite good about my workout. So good, infact, that i really think I've made something of a decition about what I'll want to be when I'm gonna start working. I want to be a presonal trainer.
Now... I never realized that eating healthy and exercising could be so much fun, but it really is! And guess what? I want to make a lifestyle out of it, it almost is for me already. The days I cannot go to the gym to work out, I'm all giddy and nevrous and don't know what to do with myself. So... I'm basically addicted!
I finally decided which colour my walls should have, they're gonna be purple and green. I know it might sound wierd, but believe me, once it's done... it'll look fabulous! Not even the guys from Fab 5 could do it better! ;)
So... I found out my dear Ola's on a serious diet. Mum saw him at the store buying "diet powder", ya know... the kind people with 20-40 pounds overweight eat. *sighs* I guess living with Albin, who's on a crazy work out streak by the way, wears on your confidence. It's really a shame because they're such beautiful boys... I guess they can't see that for themselves. Well... maybe some pep-talks are in order. And I sure hope Albin sends me a mail soon, I'm beginning to miss that boy.
Seriously... I cannot help but feel a little... freaked out. I have all this awkward feeling that I don't know where to put, or how to deal with them.
All of a sudden I feel this need for being the Witch I am, like... I have to go out and make myself a wand... It migh sound wierd... heck! It even does to me...
Oh... and I made this quiz I found in Imagine's blog
Actually... I have no idea why I wrote damnit as a subject... maybe because I'm running out of creativity? Anyway... I can tell you right now that I am SOOOO happy. Despite of my 2 wek long bingefest I have not gained a pound! Actually... I lost one! See! Being sick does make a valid reason to eat a lot of ice-cream and cookies! You don't gain weight! *looks around confused* Where were I?
Oh yes... I had two presentations today, both went okay I guess. But I felt as though I could have done better... GAH... boring.
Anyway... I was kinnda thinking about getting out of the trip to Västerås and send someone else to that stupid conference instead, but i found out my friend Jennü was going too, so I decided to tag along. Hey... one night at a hotel is reason enough to go! I've never been to a hotel before.
Oh... I have to clean my room. YES, I know I said I would and I never did and I'm a bad preson, so sue me! I swear I'm related to the character Lorelei in Gilmore Girls more then Rory is! *sighs* Bad Mina! *smacks herself on the fingers*
So... that's it for now... maybe, it you're, like, really lucky I'll add more later! Okay? Now... SCRAM! [image]mina_812636856.jpg[/image]
I just coughed and I went all dizzy for like... five seconds. What a darn rush!
Anyways... I'm sitting here... cursing the slowness of our computor and waiting for my mum and her boyfriend to get ready for the workout! *is stressed* I wanna work out now!!!!
Oh... there's some kind of special CSI show tonight... it's like... 15 minutes longer today. Bah... I wonder why.
So... I'm finally going to get back into my healthier living after like... 2 weeks of sickness which resulted in toootal lack of dicipline and me gaining 2 pounds or so...
So... it's... hopefully, going to feel great to be back into my lighter and better ways soooooooon. Yes... I can't wait!
Oh... btw. Drew Fuller is kinnda cute... doncha think?
I'm tired... I wanna go to sleep but I need to do some serious schoolwork! And my room needs to be cleaned and I gotta work out today, and I feel REALLY slow.
Albin, my sweet friend, says he's going to play soccer 3 times a week and work out at the gym 5 times a week. Anyone who knows anything about the human body and exercise whould see that this is too much. The boy clearly doesn't know what's good for him.
Anyways... I did go home early from school today and I know... it's wrong, but I really felt tired and we didn't really have any real lessons anyway.
Well... that's all for now, I might write more later.
Nevermind the stupid title.
border=0 frameborder=0 alt="You are a Bard!"
